What's the Difference Between A Bridal Shower and A Bachelorette Party?
So you've said yes to the proposal - congratulations! Now comes the fun part: all those pre-wedding celebrations that everyone keeps mentioning. Two celebrations you'll definitely hear about are the bridal shower and bachelorette party.
Let's sort out the confusion around bridal showers versus bachelorette parties once and for all.
In this article:
- The Short Answer
The Short Answer
Bridal shower = daytime party where your gran brings you a toaster and everyone watches you unwrap gifts
Bachelorette party = night out with your mates where nobody expects presents but everyone expects fun
That's literally it. But there's obviously more to think about...
What is a Bridal Shower?
Picture this: it's 2 PM on a Saturday. You're sat in someone's living room (probably your mum's friend's house) with three generations of women, opening presents while everyone goes "ooh" and "ahh" at your new slow cooker.
That's your classic bridal shower.
Here's What Usually Happens:
- Usually 2-4 hours long
- Everyone from your 85-year-old grandmother to your university flatmate shows up
- You open gifts (this is the main event, let's be honest)
- There might be some games (prepare for wedding bingo)
- Light food, maybe afternoon tea or a brunch spread
- Definitely more civilised than your average night out
The Gift Situation
Here's something important: you're NOT supposed to throw your own bridal shower. I know, weird rule, but it's basically like asking people to buy you presents. A friend or family member should offer to host it.
Modern Twists on Bridal Showers
Today's bridal showers have moved beyond the traditional tea party format. Popular themes include:
- Bottomless brunch showers
- Garden party celebrations
- Spa day experiences
- Cooking class showers
- Wine tasting events
What is a Bachelorette Party?
Your bachelorette party (or hen do, if we're being properly British about it) is completely different. This is your "last hurrah as a single woman" celebration with your closest friends.
What This Actually Looks Like:
It's usually just your bridal party and your closest mates - people roughly your own age who actually want to celebrate with you rather than people who feel obligated to show up with a gift.
It might be one big night out, or it could stretch over an entire weekend. Lots of people do weekend trips now - city breaks, spa weekends, that sort of thing.
The whole vibe is way more relaxed. There's no structure, no gift-opening ceremony, no need to make polite conversation with distant relatives. It's just about having a laugh with your friends.
Popular Bachelorette Party Ideas:
- Weekend city breaks (Edinburgh, Bath, even European cities)
- Spa weekends (especially popular with the over-30 crowd)
- Cocktail-making classes
- Dance lessons (salsa seems to be having a moment)
- Adventure activities if that's your thing
- Restaurant crawls through different areas
- Sometimes just a really good night out locally
The Differences Between Bridal Showers and Bachelorette Parties
| Aspect | Bridal Shower | Bachelorette Party |
|---|---|---|
| Primary Purpose | Gift-giving celebration to "shower" bride with household items and well-wishes | Celebrating bride's last days of singlehood with closest friends |
| Typical Timing | 6-8 weeks before wedding | 1-4 weeks before wedding |
| Time of Day | Daytime (11am-4pm) | Evening or full weekend |
| Duration | 2-4 hours | One evening to entire weekend |
| Guest List | Multi-generational (grandmothers, mothers, aunts, family friends, bridal party) | Bride's closest friends and bridal party (similar age group) |
| Age Range | All ages (teens to 80+) | Typically 21+ |
| Atmosphere | Elegant, refined, family-friendly | Fun, relaxed, party-focused |
| Formality Level | Semi-formal to formal | Casual to cocktail attire |
| Main Activities | Gift opening, games, light refreshments, conversation | Dining out, dancing, activities, socializing |
| Gift Expectations | Gifts required (from registry, household items) | No gifts expected (maybe small fun items) |
| Who Hosts | Maid of honour, bridesmaids, or family member | Maid of honour with bridesmaids |
| Location | Someone's home, restaurant, or event space | Restaurants, bars, destinations, activity venues |
| Food & Drink | Light refreshments, afternoon tea, brunch | Full meals, cocktails, party snacks |
| Cost for Host | £15-50 per person | Varies widely (£50-200+ per person) |
| Cost for Guests | £25-75 (gift) + travel | £50-200+ depending on activities |
| Dress Code (Guests) | Smart casual, midi dresses, pastels, NO WHITE | Party dresses, cocktails attire, bold colors welcome |
| Dress Code (Bride) | White or cream dress, feminine, photo-friendly | Often white to stand out, party-appropriate |
| Thank You Notes | Required within 2-4 weeks | Not typically required |
| Photo Style | Formal, posed, family-friendly | Fun, candid, party photos |
Choose a Bridal Shower if you want:
- Family involvement and multi-generational celebration
- Traditional gift-giving experience
- Shorter, more structured event
- Elegant, refined atmosphere
- Daytime celebration
Choose a Bachelorette Party if you want:
- Friends-only celebration
- More relaxed, party atmosphere
- Longer celebration (potentially weekend)
- Modern, flexible activities
- Evening/night celebration
Choose Both if you want:
- Complete pre-wedding celebration experience
- Separate family and friends celebrations
- Traditional elements AND modern fun
- Maximum celebration opportunities
Skip Both if:
- Budget constraints
- Guests are geographically scattered
- Preference for intimate celebrations only
- Not interested in traditional pre-wedding events
Which One Comes First?
Usually the bridal shower happens first (about 6-8 weeks before the wedding), then the bachelorette party closer to the big day (1-4 weeks before).
Why this order? A few practical reasons:
- You get your household gifts sorted early
- You're not completely knackered from partying when you're trying to finalise wedding details
- You have time to write thank you notes between events
- The bachelorette party stays fresh in everyone's memory
But honestly, there's no strict rule. Some brides prefer their hen do earlier to avoid last-minute stress.
What to Wear (The Important Bit)
Bridal Shower Outfits
If you're a guest: Think smart casual with a feminine touch. Midi dresses work brilliantly. Don't wear white (that's for the bride) and avoid anything too revealing - remember, someone's gran is probably there.
Good options include:
- Floral midi dresses (always a safe bet)
- Pastel fit-and-flare dresses
- Nice blouses with tailored trousers
- Sophisticated jumpsuits
- Basically anything you'd wear to a nice lunch with your mum's friends
If you're the bride: You get to wear white! Go for something feminine that photographs well, but make sure it's comfortable for sitting around opening gifts for ages.
Bachelorette Party Outfits
This depends entirely on what you're actually doing.
Restaurant and cocktails: Party dresses, little black dresses, anything with a bit of sparkle.
Weekend spa retreat: Comfortable but stylish loungewear, nice athleisure pieces.
Adventure activities: Practical clothes that still look decent in photos.
If you're the bride: Many brides wear white to stand out from the group, but you don't have to. Just wear something that makes you feel good and works for whatever activities you've planned.
Planning Timeline (So You Don't Mess This Up)
Bridal Shower Planning
- 3 months before the shower: Start planning and send proper invitations
- 6-8 weeks before wedding: Have the shower
- Within 2 weeks after: Get those thank you notes written and sent
Bachelorette Party Planning
- 2 months before: Start organising, especially if you're doing a destination weekend
- 1-4 weeks before wedding: Have the party
- Just avoid: Scheduling it too close to the wedding when you're already stressed about final details
